A few years ago.
“What’s your greatest personal achievement?” the interviewer asked.
I asked him to clarify that he didn’t mean work, he meant personal life. He confirmed it.
It was a job interview. Why was he asking that?
I knew he wasn’t going to like the answer but the truth was right there. Maybe part of him wanted to hear it.
The first thing that popped into my mind was the most transformational experience of my entire life.
Strangely, not all the promotions I’ve gotten (since I’m usually so work focused). Not the certifications, not the love of my life (but that is definitely up there) .
“Homebirthing my second child. It was amazing. I never thought I could do something like that. It was so connecting and so powerful. ” I replied.
My face must have been beaming in a light that was unrecognizable to him.
He smiled with me for a split second, then his face looked cloudy. I know that look. He could never compete with that.
He seemed to realize in that moment that’s something he’d never know what it felt like.
I had more power than him.
Dude. You asked.
What was the right answer for him, anyway? It was probably passive aggressive to begin with, realizing there was no ‘right’ answer.
After that, he started asking me more questions. None had anything to do with determining if I was capable of doing the job.
Yet everything to do with trying to make me feel insecure.
Lesson learned. Next time, I’ll thank someone for the chat and say the interview is over.
Lesson also learned that women have power.
Freud claimed women have penis envy sometimes but I also think men envy us too. They can’t birth a human being into this world.
The irony is, if he’d have asked clarifying questions I would have gushed about how amazing my husband was.
How he held me in his arms and protected me throughout the entire birth. How he never left my side. How he was my rock.
We were powerful.
We are meant to work together. Not apart. Imagine all the beautiful things that could happen if we let our insecurities go.