Live your own life and have your own hobbies dreams and passions.
Seems simple but many people spend time ‘waiting’. Stop waiting and love who you are, where you are right now. Accept yourself as you are, no one is perfect, period. Like attracts like.
Know what you want. Focus on their character.
By this I mean, not things like music tastes, the job they do and changeable things. The deeper things. Patience with children/loves kids, Doesn’t want kids, or whatever your values may be.
If you don’t have any idea what qualities you want in a person, you’ll spin your wheels. If you aren’t sure, think about what you don’t want then reverse it.
When you meet someone, meet them and not your idea of them.
Really listen to what they say about themselves and who they are. Could you live with the things they do, the way they act?
Choose someone that fits into your world. No falling in love with “their potential”.
This world of yours, what deep values do you hold? Do theirs match closely or not? If they lose their looks, job, house, clothes, everything, would you like them as they are, right now?
Do they take initiative?
This is the easiest way to tell if someone is really into you. Do they take initiative to call, write, pm, txt/sms you? If they never do and it’s always you or vice versa, this is a sign it’s not going to work.
They aren’t your ex — Let it go
You meet someone awesome and it’s going well. The worst thing to do is bring up an ex “I won’t EVER do xyz because I have been let down in the past.”
We’ve all been let down in the past and we’ve all had unfair sh*t happen to us.
Projecting your past bad experiences on someone who is totally new and wasn’t even there is unfair. It’s your garbage; clear it as much as possible before getting into something new.
Remove everything that reminds you of an ex or past relationship.
Physically clear your closet for ‘space’ and leave a drawer empty for your beloved to come into your life.
Make time in your schedule where you don’t do anything but dream about them.
Maybe pick up a book or tv show in the meantime but know it’s in the meantime. While you have your own interests you also need time allotted for it to come into your life.
Understand that no one is perfect.
Are they a really close match but they do things that drive you nuts?
Figure out if you can live with this or it’s truly a dealbreaker. If it’s not a dealbreaker, shut up about it and learn to live with it.
You have things like that too, we can all be annoying sometimes.
Know you will find them or they will find you. Confidence.
You aren’t too old, you aren’t too young, or fat or skinny for love to find it’s way to you, ever.
You aren’t too broken, you aren’t too poor or rich or messy or too rigid. There is someone out there wishing for someone like you.
Know this and walk with that confidence in your heart. It’s true. There really is someone for everyone.
Don’t be afraid to say hi to someone.
That cute girl or guy you wish would notice you? Well, maybe they are feeling the same way, who knows! Rejection of any sort isn’t the end of the world and it’s a whole lot worse to always wonder “If”.
You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take.
To take the pressure off, imagine there are thousands of other people in the world, they aren’t the only one (more like 7 billion 😉 ).
The longer you pine after someone, the longer they become some image to you and you don’t even know what kind of person they really are, just your fantasy image of them.
Some girl or guy could be super hot but that’s literally ALL you know about them from across the room. They could be a total asshole. They could be amazing.
If it doesn’t go well, and it could not, then know that they aren’t rejecting you as a person just the fit or match.
Besides, would you truly want to be with anyone that wouldn’t enjoy you for who you are? (the answer is no!)
photo source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:-LOVE-love-36983825-1680-1050.jpg