Why isn’t he noticing me? I really wondered that as I looked over at the guy, again, that I had the biggest crush on since Middle school.
I realized as I got older that he had noticed me, as he turned red sometimes when our eyes met. He probably was too shy to approach or say hi.
Why did the universe not let it happen then?! In some form? Maybe it wasn’t meant to happen. I mean who knows?
It could have been amazing but it could have been awful, for all I knew.
Who really knows if our nerves are just nerves or they are destiny? Maybe we did have another lifetime together in the past. Or maybe there is one for the future, wouldn’t that be interesting?
Or maybe we need a lifetime break from someone before we are ready to get involved again. I have often wondered when relationships in my life just don’t seem to quite stick.. if that’s what it could be.
I’ve had instances where I’ve cared about someone quite a lot. They were really a great person and I really wanted it to work, it just *didn’t*. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was and neither could they.
Maybe that’s when we know it was a past karmic contract to finish. Or a future one that hasn’t fully begun yet. The possibilities are quite endless but one thing does remain, it just doesn’t work.
The spark isn’t there enough, not enough chemistry, or the chemistry is great but the timing is way off. I don’t really believe these things happen by accident. Or maybe it’s the soul mate experience, in that way.
They were meant to be a beautiful light for us. Or a beautiful darkness, which on the flip side, also shows us our own inner light to combat it. Meant to come in and out of our life quickly to reignite us.
To remind us who we are, to show us our inner resilience. So we can remember that we are more than just this small life that we are living right in that moment.
A reminder that our pain isn’t permanent. It’s not meant to break us, even though it feels like that so much at the time.